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Post by spot51 on Sept 10, 2020 8:57:29 GMT
Visited Drew yesterday on his first day at the IOW Hospice. He seemed bright enough but had moments when he drifted off but was looking forward to me visiting today.
At 8pm I got a call telling me he had died. They'd made him comfortable and he'd gone to sleep. Never woke up. Drew was 2 months shy of his 65th birthday and, as you've gathered from my posts on IBO, his health has been crap for much of his life.
He was 4 years my junior and followed me from Haylands infants, via Swanmore junior to Sandown Grammar. We both sang in the choir at St Michael's in Ryde. He succeeded me as Head Chorister. As a kid he was quite sporty. He was a quick runner and a fair to middling footballer. Only time we played together was when I returned from University when we played for Haylands Reserves. I was the (a)lone striker and he was a centre half who had to mark our other defender, big Ron, who was an accident waiting to happen. One season was enough.
Drew was very intelligent. His IQ was huge but he lacked common sense. On 1 October 1973 I began work for Zurich in Portsmouth as Drew started at the Southampton School of Radiography. Missing my student weekends I began staying with him at 101 Atherley Road, Shirley where the Saturday routine included going to The Dell. It was Lawrie's first season and when it ended (with relegation due to the "3 down" rule change) we had become Scummers. So, it was Drew's fault I'm posting on here now.
Shortly after qualification (and the promised local jobs failed to materialise) Drew found himself working in the X Ray dept at Barnet. It was there he suffered his first breakdown. I now understand Bipolar disorder and the brain chemistry that causes it but back then it was scary. He came back to the IOW and spent several months in the old IOW Mental Hospital at Whitecroft. I knew this was where my Dad's dad died and although our dad never said so, I got the distinct impression he was recognising a condition he had witnessed before.
When he recovered Drew went to work for a medical agency in London where he honed his X ray skills in several short term, well paid postings. He then landed a job at the old IOW County Hospital in Ryde where he spent many happy years. But every 4 years or so he'd have another manic phase and spend more time in hospital. Unlike his Grandad who never got out, Drew was helped by modern psychoactive drugs and was able to maintain his career. Working in the NHS - they understand these things.
Outside X Ray he loved booze, fags, women and rock music. The first 2 definitely contributed to his recent health issues. He gave up on radiography when people he had trained were promoted above him and would not accept his mental health issues were responsible. He did a variety of seasonal jobs but got most enjoyment volunteering for the WRVS delivering Meals on Wheels.
When our parents got old and our Dad got dementia he moved back home to help Mum look after him. The parents died just 9 months apart - coinciding with another of his manic phases. I'd promised them I'd "take care" of Drew so, when we were able to dispose of our 4 properties we moved in together. Drew's mental health improved after his 50th birthday and I was able to continue working till 2011.
Sadly, not long after I retired Drew's physical health began to deteriorate. He got the "Orr Curse" (arthritis) and bust a ligament in his right thigh which took ages to detect and fix. By the time he was offered a knee replacement to help him walk again, his kidneys were unable to survive the anaesthetic so he was confined to a wheelchair. I've lost count of the number of hospital admissions he has had in the last 5 years but it enabled him to make a new circle of friends at Ward House Nursing Home in Ventnor and the Dialysis Unit at St Mary's, Newport.
Living with Drew was never plain sailing. He could be annoying. But we shared a love of dogs, a love of football and cottage holidays in the UK (with dogs of course).
I have plenty of happy memories of our 20+ years together and believe I kept that promise I made to our parents. RIP Little Brother.
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Post by arfurdent on Sept 10, 2020 8:58:30 GMT
Really sad for your loss
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2020 9:15:13 GMT
So very sad, our condolences to you. It's been a hard, long road for you both. RIP Andy and more peace to you Spot.
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Post by channonite on Sept 10, 2020 9:27:07 GMT
A really nice Obituary spot51 RIP Drew. Peace at last.
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Post by Mandochris on Sept 10, 2020 9:34:02 GMT
What a beautiful obituary. RIP Drew and condolences to your good self, sir. You certainly did fulfil the promise you made to your parents. You are the perfect illustration of the Extra Mile.
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Post by jickster on Sept 10, 2020 9:35:47 GMT
Very moving to read that Spot, thanks for sharing. Obviously I've never met you or Drew, but with your updates on here I kind of feel like I did and I understand how you'll miss him. You certainly did keep your promise. Very sorry for your loss.
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Post by Furry Frank The Combat Wombat on Sept 10, 2020 9:47:23 GMT
Damn, sorry to hear that, Spot. I hope that the fact he passed peacefully is at least some scant consolation for your loss. RIP Drew.
As Jickster says, your updates made him feel part of the IBO family.
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Post by Sir B3na1i on Sept 10, 2020 9:48:46 GMT
A very moving read, Spot. Thoughts with you.
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Post by spot51 on Sept 10, 2020 10:45:36 GMT
A really nice Obituary spot51 RIP Drew. Peace at last. Thanks mate. Could you add that link to the Cardiff photos for those who never knew Drew?
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Post by saintsfan73 on Sept 10, 2020 13:49:19 GMT
You certainly did a lot more than just keep your promise spot51 .
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Post by theallseeingeye on Sept 10, 2020 18:16:43 GMT
I’m so sorry Spot, thinking of you mate.
Beautiful Obituary.
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Post by Willshakes. on Sept 10, 2020 18:32:48 GMT
spot51 . "Brothers in arms" Wonderful words. Thank you for sharing them.
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Post by orde on Sept 10, 2020 21:06:22 GMT
Sorry to hear Spot. You are in my thoughts
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Post by channonite on Sept 11, 2020 7:15:37 GMT
A really nice Obituary spot51 RIP Drew. Peace at last. Thanks mate. Could you add that link to the Cardiff photos for those who never knew Drew? I meant to add this yesterday, but got sidetracked by something else. For those that haven't seen it before there is a bit about the 2003 FACup Final in Cardiff (Those were the days!) and on the main page there is a photo by Spot from his vantage point in the Millennium Stadium. If you click on the picture it gives you a gallery of photos from the day, including several of Drew. Click here for the IBO 2003 Cup Final page
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Post by spot51 on Sept 11, 2020 9:16:04 GMT
spot51 . "Brothers in arms" Wonderful words. Thank you for sharing them. Given me an idea for what to play at his funeral. Good work!
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